The 3 Flatulence Commandments You Must Learn Now


Flatulence and You–What Can It Tell Us?

Unfortunately, the human body was created to have flatulence.  Sometimes it is unwanted because let’s face it, who want’s to ride next to a gassy person on the subway or bus?

Ever stroll down an empty grocery aisle and walk directly into a wall of invisible gas?  Or how about the day you eat Taco Bell and it’s tap dancing its way through your colon, ready to explode onto the scene, and there’s not a restroom or private corner to release your “cloud of doom”.  You know what I mean.  We’ve all been there.  Flatulence is a problem.

Flatulence is a problem.

First, before I dive into the deep meaning behind your stinky body functions, let me assure you–you are normal.  We all stink every once in a while.  It’s what makes us human.  If you never passed gas, you would die.  But we’ll save that for another blog post.  Instead, let’s focus on these three Flatulence Commandments:

Flatulence Commandment #1:  Count Your Blessings

Due to my crass human nature, I must admit that I am getting a big kick out of composing this post.  A post where I can describe flatulence in all its noxious glory is a dream come true.  In fact, finding synonyms for flatulence in the thesaurus has truly been an out of body experience for me.

In fact, finding synonyms for flatulence in the thesaurus has been truly an out of body experience for me.

Having stated this, I will say that everything I commit to paper here is actually meant as a meaningful post about gut health.  So please hang in there through all my pithy comments about passing gas, and I promise you will learn something–like my “Flatulence Commandment #1”.

Commandment #1 states that flatulence happens.  (Usually, before SH%T happens, but I digress.)  It’s not a well-known rule, but if you are passing gas up to 13 times in one day, you’re normal.  If it’s a number above this, say twenty times or thirty, then you have a digestive issue.  More than likely it’s either poor food combination or a need for enzymes (more on that later).

For fear that you have underlying digestive issues, do I recommend you count your vapors in a little black book titled, “Malodorous Emissions”?  Well, maybe.  (That would actually be an interesting book to read.  Then again, maybe it would be a little rank…)

Only you know what is normal for your body.  And if you feel there is a possibility that you’re letting out more wind than normal, then count ’em.  Eat your normal daily fare, and if there are more than thirteen emissions, you might have a problem.  (Read on to learn more about how to fix it, or just jump on over to my website and schedule an online consultation with me today.  My website is listed in my bio at the end of this post.)

Flatulence Commandments #2:  Percolation Within Your Gut

Certainly, if you’ve read this far through a post about gas, you know your digestive system has a problem.  If I was a betting woman, I would guess you wished you owned a pair of underwear with carbon filters built into the crotch.  And no, I’m not making this up.  There’s a link where you can purchase a pair on my personal website’s blog.  (Come on, you know you’re curious.  Go check it out.  The link to my website is in my bio.)

To clarify, you’ve counted your windy emissions which were in excess of the evil number thirteen.  And you’ve discovered your digestive tract emits more hot, stinking air than a politician’s speech.

The facts don’t lie.  You’ve got problems.

If it feels like every time you eat there’s a percolation of your insides happening within the first thirty minutes of eating, that can be caused by inadequate food combining.  I have a great post about proper food combining at my website’s blog titled, “4 Tips On How To Combine Food For Better Digestion”.  You can find the link under Resources at the end of this post.

Additionally, if you find that you have a bubbling sensation in your lower abdomen, or become bloated and gassy 1 1/2 to 2 hours after eating, you have a digestive tract issue.  More than likely you’ve taken antibiotics sometime in your lifetime and it’s killed most of the good bacteria.

Bacteria which were supposed to inhabit your small and large intestines naturally.

Regrettably, your gut flora is currently unbalanced.  The bad bacteria has grown unchecked and will inhibit your immune system, as well as your digestive process.

Sadly, the unbalanced state of your gut can not be fixed with a yogurt found at WalMart.  It’s only fixed with high-quality prebiotics, as well as probiotics, and a closely supervised detox by a natural health practitioner.  Head on over to my website to schedule a consultation with me, and let’s get your gut flora rebalanced.

Flatulence Commandment #3: You’re Ancient

Unfortunately, the human body seems to break down as we age.  And the age of forty tends to be a “tipping point” in which our body’s systems begin to show their weakness.  As a matter of fact, our digestive system can wreak the most havoc on our well-being as it is the manner in which we uptake vital nutrition.

But if you’re over the age of forty, the body’s ability to create enzymes necessary to digest your food has begun to decline.  Without enzyme supplementation, your flatulence will only increase, as the food is no longer digesting.

Instead, it’s actually rotting within your intestines.

Not a pretty picture.

If we can’t digest our food, then how can we utilize the nutrients found in the food?  It doesn’t matter if you eat the highest quality food you can find.  If you aren’t digesting it, then your body isn’t using it.  And your body’s foundations will become weaker by the day.  It’s no wonder our body’s break down so quickly after the age of forty.

We are slowly starving to death.

I have professional, pharmaceutical-grade enzymes, so head on over to my website, and schedule a consultation with me to find the right enzyme for your body.  The world will thank you for not contributing to climate change with your excessive carbon emissions.

In Conclusion, I ask that you find the time to listen to the signals which your body are emitting.  I promise this blog post is not a bunch of hot air.  I think someone who writes a post just for their own personal entertainment is a putrid, loathsome human being.  Their writing is a smelly blot on the internet world.  I would say they were silent, but deadly.  (Wow, this is fun…)

(Bonus material:  Did you notice I didn’t use the word “fart” once?  I know you’re impressed.  Now get back to your fart journal!  Count those stinky things!)



  1. 4 Tips On How To Combine Food For Better Digestion”, Powerful Health with Carrie Brown, ND, MH, blog post.
  2. Ballentine, Rudolph, MD, Diet & Nutrition, Honesdale, Himalayan Institute, 2014, Printed.
  3. Loomis, Howard F., D.C., The Enzyme Advantage: For Health Care Providers and People Who Care About Their Health, USA, 21st Century Nutrition Publishing, 2015, Printed.
  4. Loomis, Howard F., D.C., Enzymes: The Key To Health, Madison, 21st Century Nutrition Publishing, 2012, Printed.



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Carrie Brown
Naturopathic Doctor at Powerful Health
Check out my website at
I'm a Naturopathic Doctor, Master Herbalist, and Clinical Herbalist in training. I love holistic health. I love talking about it, researching it, and using natural remedies for myself, family, and friends. So sharing my love with the world is a no-brainer.
I'm also not a stranger to living life with a chronic disease, as I am a carrier of a rare, x-linked, muscular dystrophy called Emery-Dreifuss Muscular Dystrophy Type 6. I am asymptomatic, but I have passed the mutated gene to my three sons, who each suffer to varying degrees from EDMD6. From this disease, I've learned patience, empathy, and a lot of insight into how to live with degenerative, chronic illnesses.
At my website,, I offer online holistic health consultations, using hair analysis to better understand why you feel sick. Need a doctor supervised weight loss? I got the program for you and will help you get those stubborn pounds off.
Want to detox but not sure how, or what supplements to use? I utilize years of experience in detoxing protocols and have pharmaceutical grade supplements to provide you with a gentle, effective cleansing and detoxification program. Come see me over at my website,, and contact me today!