When you grew up, you were more than likely yelled at for making some mistakes…perhaps a lot. You were punished for things you did wrong in other people’s eyes, and forced to apologize. And if you were brought up in a religious background, you had to reflect on your sins every Sunday, and again feel bad about yourself. Your opinions were likely often ignored, so maybe you started to believe that they didn’t matter, and you turned shy. You may have been insulted by other kids, or humiliated by teachers. Perhaps you liked the thought of somehow being invisible to the whole world. The idea of being the center of attention terrified you, and may still to this day. Why? Because you still feel like you are not good enough. You have never been able to please everybody, so why would you think you can do that now? And perhaps you still feel like you need to. This is an example of a typical up-bringing. Do we really have to wonder why so many people lack self-confidence? You can’t change the past, so let it go. But recognize the little reasons that created your problems today, and realize that when anybody passes judgement, it reflects their personality and has nothing to do with you. In an ideal world, everybody would be understanding and compassionate. This is not an ideal world, so hear the harsh words of others, and then toss them aside, knowing that you are the perfect you, and by not listening to you or appreciating you, they seriously missed out.
In order to be happy in this world, we must be happy with ourselves. We have to feel good about who we are, and every one of us has reason to do so. If we feel that we are worthless, then we act as though we are, so decide to feel worthy and important. Every change starts with a decision, and that decision goes a long way. We need to empower ourselves. When we do, then the possibilities are endless. It’s time to change your thoughts to a better feeling you, and here are some thoughts to start with:
- Accept that everyone always does the best they can in every situation, given what they know and what they have been through, including you. Accept your mistakes as positive learning experiences, and forgive yourself. Decide to feel good about who you are today as a result.
- Accept that you cannot please everyone, and stop trying to. Your opinion is the only one that matters. You are the only person that you will have to live with for the rest of your life.
- Stop apologizing. Everything happens for a reason. You have made decisions and you have made mistakes, all for various reasons; and again, you cannot be focused on pleasing the rest of the world, so stop apologizing to yourself and everybody else for the things you would do differently, given the chance today. OK, maybe do it sometimes to be polite, but never feel bad or guilty. Those are negative feelings that do not serve you. If you do something you regret, simply decide that’s no longer you, and you will not do it again. Then feel good about the better, changed you. All that matters is who you are now.
- Maybe you like yourself, but you’re not happy with your life, and you feel trapped. If you feel/believe that your situation can improve, then it can, so start believing it. Sometimes that’s difficult to do if we don’t see the physical possibilities, and most people do not realize how much power is behind the energy in their thoughts. The opportunities manifest after our thoughts and beliefs decide they will come—not the other way around. If you have trouble believing this, try it. The worst that can happen is that you will feel better, and feeling better is the goal anyway, so give it a shot.
- Believe in yourself. There is a God-source within each of us, whether you think of it as Spirit, God or Source, the Holy Spirit, or your spirit self or soul; this perfect part of you has amazing powers to create whatever you desire in your experience on earth. Learn to trust it. Learn to tap into it. Allow it to help you shine and guide you to the life of your dreams. If you can truly believe that you have this kind of power, you can throw fear and lack of confidence out the window. Spirit works with you if you are willing to let it in. And the way to let it in is to feel good. It all starts with trust…in yourself, the universe, and the powers that be. Happiness starts from within, and then the external world becomes a reflection of it.
If changing your attitude on a conscious level is still not helping you feel better, consider that the issue may lie deep within your subconscious mind. You may be dealing with a past life issue or you may have an entity attachment that is feeding you derogatory thoughts about yourself. A spiritual hypnotherapist can help you find and release these negative energies.