When we first fall in love with somebody we are falling for their persona, the role they play. These are the type of things you might find in a dating profile such as their likes and dislikes, hobbies, jobs, style, and so on.
As you really get to know each other and each of you stop playing roles, who your partner is becomes less clearly defined. Each of us are complex creatures containing at some points both extremes of every quality. Even the nicest people will have moments of being terribly mean. Yet you still love that person. All the things you fell for no longer matter. It is hard to say exactly what we are in love with at this point. Perhaps it is their soul or their essence that we love. However you define it, that deeper love can be felt even if it is hard to explain.
The best way I can understand this sort of love is comparing it to a parent’s love for their children.
What Makes A Mother’s Love Special?
As a parent, I have been blessed to get to experience true love. The love for my children is not muddied with all the stuff that a romantic love most often is. It is not dependent on my children’s behaviors, words, or whether or not they meet my needs. It just is.
When comparing the two forms of love, it is the just is quality that can be very helpful in judging if your romantic love has the same neverending, ego-less, forever quality as the true love you find in a mother’s love. A mother’s love loves even when the child is behaving awfully. It is love even when they are being as unlovable as possible.
Often romantic love is conditional. The wrong words or actions can quickly turn one partner against the other. This leads to the continued playing of roles, increased insecurities, and limited feelings of love.
Now Time For A Small Disclaimer
Although I think we should all strive for a romantic love relationship where each partner is accepted fully and loved despite their mistakes, there are obviously words and actions that simply go too far to be accepted. This is even true in a mother-child relationship although it is harder to imagine when those lines would be crossed.
Also loving someone even when they are being unlovable is not the same as accepting the behavior. Challenging, questioning, and comforting your partner when it feels appropriate is a good thing, and can be done with a heart full of love. It could be a step in strengthing your relationship or helping your partner grow as a person.
So make sure you are being true to yourself. Trust yourself if you feel your partner has gone too far.
The Question To Ask Yourself To Know If It’s True Love
When you say something stupid, selfish, ignorant, or mean are you still loved? Does your partner love you even when you are most unlovable? If so hold on to them, kiss them, and let you know you appreciate their love because that is true love.
Amy is the mother of two who spends much of her time playing with toys, changing diapers, and contemplating love.
Besides writing for NaturalNews.com Blogs, Amy has an online store featuring her digital art.