I don’t believe in setting New Year’s resolutions or goals for the year. For many people January is a month of beating themselves up because they overdid the festivities of December and now are failing at their unrealistic New Year’s Resolutions. I used to do the same thing. Goals are a constant reminder of what we don’t have or haven’t achieved yet. It is hardly a way to build resonance with the completed goals that we want to bring into being.
New Year’s Resolutions, even when stated in the positive, such as “I will go to the gym daily” or “I will eat healthy food instead of junk food”, create a pressure or a constant awareness that we lack what we have set the goal for. Focus on the lack and that is what you will get.
To bring changes into reality we need a focus on what has already become reality at some level and then do the work to open space for that change into our current reality. Goals focus on what and how. Reality is created by a focus on the why that drives the changed state. When the why is clear, many different pathways or “hows” can get us there. Clear the obstacles; remove the roadblocks; and keep your eye on the horizon. The end result is achieved without so much effort.
So how do I create the results I want? Drop the issues into the heart instead of the head. Listen to what your heart is telling you. When the goals, decisions and processes are all designed by the cognitive thinking of the head, they fail to take into account the sub-conscious rules that govern your behavior. How many times have you planned in your head exactly what you would to say and do in a stressful situation? Then when faced with the situation, it all went out the window and the sub-conscious programming took over so in the end you did exactly what you didn’t want to do. Your well-rehearsed cognitive plan was sabotaged. That is why it is so important to drop into the heart and deal with the subconscious issues which will clear the way for the conscious to follow. If you remove the roadblocks the goal will complete on its own.
There are many approaches that will help you clear the roadblocks and remove the sabotage. You can use EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) or BS Elimination (check it out here) to change the brains sub-conscious response to your thoughts and fears. You can reset your panic response through an ESR (Emotional Stress Release) that will restore blood flow and stop the adrenalin rush of stress.
As you work on eliminating the fears and stresses, old wounds and memories, you open the road to achieving what you really want. Creating a new habit isn’t so much about doing something for 30 days as much as it is about removing the blocks that prevent you from doing what you really want to do. As you build a better now, the old pattern doesn’t seem quite so powerful.
Spend this month addressing the issues of your heart. Release the fears and traumas that hold you back. Let go of the past hurts and wounds that have created ruts in your life and you will find yourself gravitating to the new ways without the pressure of resolutions or goals.
http://easthousecentre.com/resources/self-care-videos/
https://hbr.org/2012/12/consider-not-setting-goals-in/
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201409/why-setting-goals-can-do-more-harm-good
Linda founded East House Natural Health (www.easthousecentre.com) and sees clients in both Calgary and Abbotsford and teaches in western Canada.
She has a Masters degree and many years of apprenticeship in the healing arts under a variety of teachers. Linda loves to share the Road to Health with people of all ages.
