In the Beginning, when the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep, Satan said, “It doesn’t get any better than this”!
And God said, “Let there be light! Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb, and the fruit tree yielding fruit”.
And God saw that it was good.
And Satan said, “There goes the neighborhood”!
God then created man and woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
God populated the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green and yellow vegetables for them.
Satan said, “I know how I can get back in this game”, and created the cheeseburger and French Fries.
And man said, “Supersize the fries”, and gained 5 pounds.
Satan brought forth chocolate and Woman gained 5 pounds.
Satan then brought forth fried chicken and fried steak so big, that it needed its own platter.
And Man’s cholesterol went through the roof!
And God sent running shoes and Man resolved to lose weight.
But Satan brought forth the remote control and ESPN and ESPN 2, and Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God said, “You’re running up the score Devil”, and brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them.
And Man clutched his remote and ate the potato chips, swaddled in cholesterol, and went into cardiac arrest.
And Satan said, “This is good”!
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created HMO’s and big pHarma!
And God created organic sulfur crystals.
In God we trust. All others pay cash!