When those we love and care about do not act in the way we would prefer, it can be irritating, frustrating, and at times, hurtful. Oftentimes, if those around us aren’t acting in the way we think they should, we find ourselves miserable, thinking that if they only would behave the way we want, we could finally be happy.
This is undeniably human, and very understandable. After all, if they truly cared about us, we reason, they should be held to a certain standard of behavior. However, pinning our hopes and chances of happiness upon another’s behavior can leave us mired in misery.
Conversely, we have all felt the pressure that comes when others around us have expectations that we feel we cannot meet. Different people in our lives push and pull us in many different directions, and if we try to please all, we end up pleasing no one, not the least of which includes ourselves. It is a game we cannot win, when we try to make everyone happy. It just is not humanly possible.
So how then do we deal with both of these challenges? Our desires to have others please us in certain ways, and our stress at not being able to please all others?
There is much wisdom regarding these matters in the teachings of Esther Hicks, known for her books, workshops and speeches in which she translates, for lack of a better term, the guidance she receives from the non-physical entity known by the name of Abraham-Hicks.
How to find peace and happiness within yourself
However, let’s focus on the topic at hand, that is, how to find peace and happiness within yourself, without depending upon the influence or behavior of any other person around us.
According to Hicks, as excerpted from her book, Ask and it is Given, depending upon others for how you feel is misguided:
“Your happiness does not depend on what others do, but only upon your own vibrational balance. And the happiness of others does not depend on you, but only on their own vibrational balance, for the way anyone feels, in any moment, is only about their own mix of Energies.”
In other words, happiness is an inside job. If you get yourself into the right frame of mind, if you can clean up your own energy and find balance within yourself, you will have no need for others to please you in order to attain happiness. It comes from within you.
Further, bending over backwards to make others happy is an exercise in futility. There is just no way to please everyone around you, nor should you try. If you focus on your own inner joy, without worrying or fretting about what others think, you are actually in a much better place to influence them to find their own inner joy.
Another excerpt from “Ask and it is Given” addresses this head-on:
“The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the Stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.”
As author John Lydgate says: “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
Also keep in mind that your own happiness is dependent only upon yourself. The way you feel in any given moment is simply an indicator of your own energy, your own alignment or lack thereof.
So let others off the hook for pleasing you, and let yourself off the hook for pleasing others. This may well be the most empowering, liberating thing you could ever do for yourself.
Remember always that your happiness is an inside job!
Raw Michelle is a natural health blogger and researcher, sharing her passions with others, using the Internet as her medium. She discusses topics in a straight forward way in hopes to help people from all walks of life achieve optimal health and well-being. SUBSCRIBE here to get more from Raw Michelle!
Resources mentioned: There is a quote excerpted from the book Ask and it is Given in the above article. That book is available on Amazon from this Amazon affiliate link.