Many men do not have the slightest idea what women want. They break into a sweat at just the thought of walking up to a woman and simply introducing themselves. Attracting and seducing women is truly an art form. Those that master this art of seduction can have even the most gorgeous women eating out of the palm of their hand. Done incorrectly and it can go very wrong very fast. The main problem that most men have is that they just don’t know what women want. And the ladies are no help. I will attempt to break apart some of the mystery for you. While this won’t make you an expert overnight, hopefully it will clear up some confusion and give you the confidence that you need to start putting yourself out there.
Women want to be teased. Not cruelly or in a deprecating way, but the spark of attraction requires a fuel to get the fire started. Intrigue is that fuel. Be interesting. And if you aren’t interesting, find a way to become interesting. Take a trip to somewhere very different than your hometown, find an interesting hobby, anything to stand out from the crowd of desperate men that any quality woman is being bombarded with. There are many ways to be an intriguing human being, and I am not going to do your job for you. Especially since it needs to be real, you can’t just fake it. Your title as an interesting man needs to be authentic to who you are. Remember she doesn’t need to enjoy exactly the same things that you do. She simply needs to see that there is more to you than meets the eye. And don’t just take a cooking class or watch a James Bond movie and try to copy his style. You need to truly live an interesting life. Over time this will only increase your quality of life as well. There is really no downside. Just remember to always leave a few tricks in the bag. You never know when they will come in handy.
Take it Slow
Don’t be in a rush. One common problem in men is their desire for instant gratification. While both sexes struggle with this issue in many parts of life, in the art of seduction, this desire to get to the finish line as quickly as possible is a recipe for disaster. Just as women like to be teased, they also do not want to feel like something you are looking to cross off of your bucket list. Learn to enjoy the chase. Remember everything that is enjoyable and titillating about dating and mating for a woman can be equally enjoyable for you.
Deliver Everything You Promised
Don’t promise what you can’t deliver. You have spent all of this primal energy being intriguing and practicing controlling your tempo, so don’t blow it by overselling yourself. Remember much of the eroticism and arousal is coming from the process itself. Relax, dial it back a notch, and let the groundwork you have laid up until now work for you, not against you. Talk is cheap. If you are a tiger in the sack and you know it, then you probably aren’t reading this article. So resist the urge to pretend you are more experienced or more confident than you really are. Just focus on showing her that you are as into her as she is you.
Solidify Yourself in Her Mind
You have made it this far and you are working your butt off to take it slow and back up your promises. If you can nail this last step you are in. This is the finishing move. Find a way to make her remember you. If you have succeeded in peaking her interest, you haven’t it blown it by being too aggressive, and you walking the walk, this should not be too difficult. She is already thinking about you, most likely not quite as much as you are thinking about her, but still more than the other men milling about in her immediate vicinity. Now all you have to do is make the leap from her short-term to her long-term memory. A grand gesture is the ticket here. Whoa, slow down and get up off your knee buddy! I am talking about something romantic and unexpected. Surprise her with a memorable date, perhaps even ask her in a memorable way. A hand written note secretly dropped into her purse, flowers delivered to her office, and even showing up in person somewhere she doesn’t expect are all very good possibilities. And finally, at the culmination of the date you need to seal the deal. Which leads us to the potentially nerve-wracking scenario of when to make your move.
You are on your own here, I can’t tell you when is the right time. In fact I wouldn’t if I could, it takes all the fun out of it. Just keep in mind that you wouldn’t even be in the situation if she wasn’t at least considering it. So once you have done the legwork, the rest is up to the fates. All I can say is that this the time to throw caution to the wind and go for it. After all, that is what James Bond would do!
If you can follow these steps and maintain your mystery in a small way you can be very successful with women who most would consider out of your league. But your job is never done. You need to learn to live these strategies rather than simply practicing them. You do not want to be caught attempting to be something you are not. Nothing is more of a mood-killer than being exposed as a fraud.
Stay Out of Your Own Way
Let’s face it, women are complicated creatures. And as men we need all the help we can get. Your overall attitude toward women can either be positive or negative. When approaching a woman to attempt to make a connection, even deep-seated feelings of resentment can impact your demeanor without you even realizing it. Women will pick up on this quickly, as they have evolved a much keener sense for these things than men. So any negative feelings you have are going to come across outwardly no matter how well you think that you hide them. Learn to appreciate women as a whole and everything that they contribute to this world. This doesn’t mean you need to kiss up. Simply taking a few moments now and then to remember where exactly you can from can do wonders for your attitude towards the ladies. If authentic, this will enhance, rather than detract from, your masculinity.
Certainty and Uncertainty
Being a masculine man doesn’t mean being a cocky jerk, it means being someone who knows what they want in life. Even more important than knowing what you want is the skill to acquire it. Nothing about a man could possibly be more attractive to a woman than the ability to turn thought into action. As pointed out here, women have, paradoxically, an innate desire for both certainty and uncertainty. Certainty in this case means the knowledge that their needs will be met, and that you will be the one to meet them. This desire is quite literally part of a woman’s DNA, and its importance cannot be overstated when discussing the art of seduction. Certainty requires a man who, not only strives to be successful in his daily life, but also has an exact road map in place to achieve everything he sets out to accomplish.
At the same time women also crave uncertainty. Uncertainty refers to the joy of not knowing what is going to happen next. But instead of worrying about the future, when a woman is supremely confident her basic needs will be met, she is able to focus on the excitement that comes from the unexpected. It is actually something that we all crave as human beings; novelty. In fact, scientific research in the emerging field of evolutionary psychology as shown that new experiences and excitement are essential to the maintenance and further development of a healthy brain. Only when the fear and stress over how an individual’s needs are going to be met, is one truly able to embrace the unexpected twists and turns that inevitably occur on the path of life.
The Power is in Your Hands
So as you can see, much of what makes a man successful in life, also makes him a success with women. This power is not inherently devious or evil, in fact, quite the opposite is true. As with any instrument of power, such as “the force” in Star Wars, or extremely good looks, or intelligence; its all in how the power is wielded. Just as you can use your wisdom and intelligence to become a master criminal, you could also use your new found powers of seduction to manipulate women and treat them like objects, or as just another notch on your bedpost. The source of the information is not to blame for how the information is used. For the only true crime would be to possess this power to influence your own and your partners happiness, and selfishly keep it all to yourself. The information exists and it is in your best interests to learn how to use it to the best of your ability. Exactly how you do that is entirely up to you.